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{Attached} To My Heart: When did that happen?! (My weight journey.)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

When did that happen?! (My weight journey.)

   I've always been a bigger girl. Growing up, I was the tallest girl in my class, I wasn't wide...but I wasn't skinny, just tall and big boned. They called me the Jolly Green Giant...tall, shy, and happy. (Could of been worse I guess....)
   I never had boyfriends growing up either. I was always so shy, no boy ever expressed interest in me so I just shrugged it off. My parents never really pushed me to eat healthy either...in fact they never really ate healthy themselves. Same goes for sports, I wanted to do soccer, baseball, gymnastics...but no one could ever take me to games. I played basketball throughout high school though, that helped me a little. Back to the food...want to see the basic grocery list growing up?

-case of kraft dinner.   -packs of hot dogs.   -packs of ground beef.   -boxes of hamburger helper.
-10lbs of potatoes.   -gravy mix.   -bags of frozen chicken cutlets.   -loads of white bread.
-bags of perogies.   -lettuce, for the hamburgers/chicken burgers.   -mayo.
-ketchup.   -tons of soup.   -cases of salted crackers.   -cans of corn.   -tomato sauce.
-boxes of regular spaghetti.   -cheese.   ...the list goes on.

   The majority of those items...I grew up on. When mom made chicken, she would bake it...in shake & bake mix.  Our salads were usually potato and egg salad, loaded with mayo and pickles. For the love of pickles, garlic to be exact...yum.  Sides were usually mashed potatoes, smothered in gravy.  My 3 top special dinners growing up were moms homemade lasagne, her homemade stew (to this day I love her stew), and perogies with garlic sausage...smothered in sour cream. 

You'd think my mouth is watering...but it's not...

    I met my future hubbykinz about a year after I graduated high school.We went out to dinner a lot just so we could be together, and we partied a lot together at the bar, which of course drank a lot of alcohol. We moved in together shortly after we met, things went downhill with the economy, as soon as that happened we found out we were expecting. Planned of course, we could afford it at that time. We lost everything, and moved into my parents basement. Our grocery list was what they bought (refer to grocery list above).  Then, I got sick when I was 20 weeks pregnant. I had a major gall bladder attack and ended up in the hospital. They discovered I had a bunch of gall stones that were lodged. They wouldn't remove them as I was to far into the pregnancy, so they gave me a healthy diet to follow.

   Darn cravings would take over, and I would suffer the worst attacks and end up back in the hospital, more than a couple times. When our daughter was 4 months old I had surgery and had them removed. Shortly after we moved into a cute little trailer, life was great, we were expecting our 2nd when my daughter was 9 months old. I had lost 60lbs! (Thank you breastfeeding and summer walks!).  I ended up getting very sick due to the trailer we were in during the winter, big alley cats thought under our trailer was a great place for a litter box. We moved out and back into my parents until we found a place,...then hubby went to work out of town...then I had baby number 2.

  I won't lie, we ate terribly. When we were well on our own after two months, we discovered the Paleo diet. Both hubby and I had started to loose a lot of weight!!.  Then my hubby was in his accident on his way to his first day of work at a new job.  He couldn't keep it due to injury, and were in the middle of moving as the house we were in had sold, so back to my parents house we went!. It took 3 months for my hubbykinz to heal..., and another 3 months to find a job...economy was very slow due to spring break up here.

6 months later.
  I'm sitting here, 6 months later. I just got back from shopping for new clothes. I had a major reality check,...I'm bigger than what I thought. NOTHING fit right. Almost left crying, but I pulled my big girl panties up and took that slap to the face.

   Growing up I was always a big capital L. After high school and during my pregnancies, I've always been an XL until baby number 2. XXL doesn't even look right on me now as I still have my pouch. That wonderful kangaroo pouch.

   Today I wanted to find a pair of jeans so bad...it's been FIVE years since I could wear jeans. I can still put my size 34 brand new jeans I bought before I had baby number 1...that excites me...but my pouch hangs over them, as does my ass on top of my ass...excuse the language...(could be a lot worst to...but I'll spare you from the majority of the profanities I can spill out.). Today I left with the biggest pair of jeans I have ever owned. Ouch...
(2 hour break of typing)
   I just got back from a very long walk tonight, girls enjoyed the fresh warm air in their double jogging stroller. I hit the flat land first then hit the incline all the way home. Feeling good!. I'm excited to share my journey with you....I'll start posting healthy recipe ideas as well.  After typing my story out, I knew I had to do something about it, so I went and started my journey tonight!.


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